November 21, 2016

by - 9:49 AM

Image via

I'm going to say the thing that I will hate myself for in January...but a little snow, a big sparkling fireplace and my baby curled up next to me is downright cozy. I am this close to putting up my christmas tree. This close! If italics suggest any kind of increment, anyway.

Moving on to the Shittiest Mom Ever Awards, I'll take that. My kid is already entranced with screens. Television, computer, cell phone, whatever, he loves 'em. It happened by accident when he was wailing and would.not.stop. I put Mickey's Once Upon a Christmas on my phone and he's been hooked ever since. His favorite is playing with the Photo Booth on my mac. Loves to see his own face and coos like he's seeing Jesus or something.

All these things I said I wouldn't do as a mom, like for instance, shoving a screen in front of my baby to entertain him, but here we are, going crazy and doing them. I thought I for sure wouldn't be a hippy-dippy crunchy mom, but I totally co-sleep, although I think that's more for my benefit than for Duke's, and I'm officially questioning vaccinations. Chill out, I'm vaccinating him, but I'm not sure that an 8-pound burrito needs 7 vaccinations in less than five minutes, you know? We've got forever, so maybe space it out a week or two?

I guess my point is that it's easy to assume you'll be one kind of parent, but when you've actually got the baby on the outside, sometimes you thrive, and sometimes you just survive.

In other news, let's end with a laugh. I've been really trying to get back in the 'go to work' routine, so I've set my alarm for 5am so I can squeeze in one last nursing session and diaper change, before getting Dukers back to sleep by 6am. Then I take a shower and pretend I have somewhere to go. Sometimes this works, most times it doesn't. Next Tuesday, which is go back to work day, might be a giant shit-show of a morning. We'll see.

Anyway, it just so happened that I made it work a few days ago. I took a magical fifteen minute shower, entirely uninterrupted. The baby slept on. So then I drank a full cup of coffee -- hot. The baby snoozed. I blow dried my hair and applied eyeliner. Snoozy snoozy snoozy in the other room. When he finally woke up, I was feeling like a grown up, and he promptly took the opportunity to barf in my freshly washed hair.

One step forward, two steps back.

Happy Monday you guys! And since I'm an aggressively lazy blogger, happy Thanksgiving. Gobble gobble!

You May Also Like