34 Weeks

by - 8:03 PM

So this has never happened before, but I am really looking forward to fall. I'm usually a summer girl and I get all kinds of weepy when Starbucks hauls out their pumpkin spice everythings, but this year, I'm just craving a little cozy and some apple cider scented candles.  So the obvious thing is that when it's fall, I'll be delivering my first son, and I'm really looking forward to that, because duh. I like being all kinds of romantic about imagining pushing him in his little stroller with all the blankets and his head covered in one of those cute baby beanies, maybe with his monogram because this is my dream, and the sidewalk will be covered in those crunchy leaves that are the colors and smells of fall. I'll sip my steaming coffee and smile modestly whenever someone peeks into the stroller and tells me he's cute. I'll say, "all babies are cute," but we all know what I mean.

The other, less romantic but very real, thing is that I miss pants. Hear me out -- I haven't worn jeans since 2015. The other day, I tried to put on a pair of yoga pants and realized that it's the hardest thing in the whole wide world. Harder than waiting for oven pizza to cool down before taking a slice -- you know what I mean. Anyway, I'm really looking forward to having my old body back -- give or take -- and pulling out all my old favorites. I told Ryan that I don't even have to shop this year, my whole closet feels brand new again. But don't quote me on that. And a quick comment on the hottest summer ever -- I can't wait for it to start cooling down a little bit -- please, Jesus. Sixty-five is all I ask for. 

How far along? 34 weeks.
Total weight gain: +40lbs. Which Google says is too much, but my doctor says is just fine. So whatever -- pass the banana bread.
Maternity Clothes? Obviously. But do you know what it's like when maternity clothes are tight? First of all, it will result in tears and a whole weekend of bad self-esteem. Also, I am not investing in anymore maternity clothes because there are only a few more weeks of this ish, so I will make it work. If my dress is pulled so tight that it becomes see-thru, I don't care. Maybe we can all suffer, and besides, I have no shame left. 
Stretch marks? Speaking of a bad self-esteem weekend, stretch marks have appeared. On the back of my legs and creeping up on my butt. I can't see them obviously, because I can't see anything that isn't located above my wrists, but Ryan can and he enlightened me a few days ago. He was nice about it -- he reminded me that he's the only person who will ever see them, which is actually worst case scenario, because he's the only person I care about attracting. Anyway, goodbye body. 
Sleep: I fall asleep really easily, but it's getting tough to stay asleep. It's a straight up aerobic work out to turn over these days, a work out that requires me to wake up every single time I do it. 
Best moment this week: Well, I turned 28 and for the first time ever, I didn't have a meltdown about getting older. I wasn't dramatic about it. I even worked. I just lived, but I did have a pan of carrot cake and to me, that's a win. 
Miss anything?  Wearing my wedding band. Summer Shandy and margaritas -- I saw Octoberfest at Meijer today and I literally salivated. Being able to have a dog lay in my lap. Reaching and painting my own toenails. My old body -- the one I didn't appreciate and thought needed to lose five pounds. That one, I miss it. 
Movement: This little rotisserie chicken is always turning around in there. My doctor said he's head down now and probably settled in that way, so it's not big flips anymore. But he does maneuver quite often and my belly is taking on some really weird Sigourney-Weaver-In-Alien shapes. 
Food cravings: I'm not really craving anything these days. I think I just eat like a normal person. 
Anything making you queasy or sick? Nope. 
Labor signs: I will shit my pants when this is a yes, and I know it's coming up in just a few weeks. 
Symptoms: Besides operating at a basic body temperature of exactly 117-degrees and being really angry about it -- no. 
Belly button in or out? So far out. We're talking about skin that hasn't seen sunlight for 28 years. 
Rings on or off? Still sometimes able to rock my engagement rock, but even that is few and far between. 
Happy or moody? Unpleasantly bitchy. My disposition is just off these days, and has been off for the last eight months. I don't feel like myself and coupled with feeling like a whale and the bazillion degree summer we're having, I am such a foul person to be around. 
Looking forward to: Ryan's brother is getting married in a week and a half and I'm looking SO forward to it! At first, I was a little bummed that I won't be able to party with everyone else, and I'm still sad about that, but I'm so glad to have these big events this summer to help pass the time and I'm really looking forward to celebrating a marriage that is loooong overdue!
Happy Hump Day!
And a toast to summer because I know in about two months, I'll be wishing it back.

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