Tales of The Worst Aunt Ever

by - 8:43 PM

You guys, this is my niece and just so we're all on the same page, those are maize and blue "M"s on those fingernails.

And now, this is the story of how she lost her faith in the Wolverines.

It all started four years ago when I moved to Lansing and just sort of became a State fan by accident because the merchandise is cheap and easy to acquire. Proximity, you know? Anyway, then my best friend eventually became employed at the institution, and my fate was sealed.I bought one t-shirt, just one, and I've been rockin' it like a die-hard ever since. I became a pseudo-fan.

Anyway, fast-forward to this weekend, when my big sister invited me to a rivalry game, promising a taco bar and an actual bar to persuade me in my travels. I knew full well that I'd be the only State-rootin', green and white wearing, MSU sort of fan in the room. I also knew that if there was ever a year for it, then this was the one,because everyone knew that UMich was going to get spanked, which they totally did. My neice, however, had no idea. What she does know, however, is that her mama likes the Wolverines and if there is anything she likes, it's what her mom thinks is cool.

Cherish this moment, Deanna. These days are numbered.

So, I show up in my State shirt, and this 8-year little girl pretends to barf in her hands and she rolls her eyes. "Your gonna lose, Aunt Jenn, cause State sucks!"

"I don't think you're allowed to say 'sucks' little girl, so I'd just back up before Santa hears  you all the way in the North Pole. He's starting his list right now, you know."

"Yeah, well State stinks. My mom said so."

"Adellia, that's because your mom didn't get into State. And anyway, trust me, you shouldn't take her so seriously."

She then proceeds to cross her arms furiously and huffs out of the room.

"Actually, I take that back," I yelled after her. "Definitely take your mom seriously. And don't tell her about this conversation. I'll give you another Oreo."

Fast-forward some more. To, you know, the part where State reigns victoriously in a game that bordered on the opposite of merciful.

I feel a soft little tap on my shoulder. "Um, hey Aunt Jenn? Um, do you want some candy?"

"Oh hey boo-boo," I say, reaching to take the Almond Joy she's offering me. "Anything you want to say to me? Like, maybe 'sorry I ever doubted you, oh cherished and most fabulously beautiful and beloved aunt?' Hmm? Anything like that?"

As a matter of fact, she didn't want to say any of that. Instead -

"Um, Aunt Jenn, I think I like State now."

Well, of course you do.


First thing -- Deanna, I swear, I really did tell her to take you seriously. Promise.


You guys, there is so much symbolic truth happening in this picture.
Sisters, divided.


Be back soon. I spent the weekend with my sister, which is awesome, but I can't wait to share some pictures of her little girls, who show us up pretty considerably in terms of "cute sisters."

And I really want to tell you about the time I gave Adellia an Oreo and told her not to tell anyone. Her dad promptly walked in the room and she bolted like the guiltiest thief murderer bad guy ever and I had to back track like the worst aunt ever. Yeah, can't wait to share that.

You May Also Like