Number Two-Oooh

by - 7:50 PM

I need to start off -- right away -- with this story, because it totally made my whole night.

I went to the grocery store which is pretty much the opposite of interesting, but as I was pondering a little too seriously which jar of green chiles to buy, I heard a little voice singing an interesting little song:

"Jayden's gotta go number two-ooh. Jayden's gotta gooooo. Jayden's gotta go number two-ooooh-oooh."

Sometimes when I sit in church and the minister launches in to a really long prayer, my mind accidently starts to wander. It's like I can't help myself, someone's talking to God on my behalf and I'm wondering if there's still a blue popsicle in the freezer. A good "hallelujah" shakes my revelry enough to pull me back in and I can try to focus for another hot second.

Those chiles were my prayer, and I was trying to focus hard on 'em but Jayden was my blue popsicle. Don't look away from the chiles, I thought. Do not embarrass his mother by staring. His mom, by the way, was all "Jayden, please hush. Jayden, please! Shush! Jayden STOP!" in a whispery voice that really wasn't doin' it for her. Jayden sang on, and I memorized the nutritional value of green chiles.

I think there's a special kind of humiliation reserved for the parents of toddlers. And you guys, thanks for bringing your little weirdos to the grocery store. They really perk up Meijer in a special way.


So it's fall here. Like 50-degrees, straight up cold, fall here.

And good, because I think I need a season of change.

I guess there are lessons that you may learn, but need to learn again in a different environment. Things you know, but don't know when the floor beneath you changes. And then, sometimes you just have to get a grip. That's all I'm going to say about that -- but sincerely, if you're ever struggling, seek out the person in your life that's not afraid to be confrontational. And try to take criticism well. Do that, and you will succeed, I promise. Stay focused and extra sparkly.

People who love you will tell you what you need to hear even if it sucks to hear it. When you're not yourself, they know. They'll tell you. Own it and make it right.

In other news --

I got a Fitbit a week ago. I can't even believe I'm not fat. I'm pretty disheartened by my daily steps count.

I cook now and so yesterday, on a Wednesday, Ryan and I went out for dinner for the first time all week. Trust me and hear me loud when I say that is kind of a big deal. How did we attain nourishment on Monday and Tuesday? Enchiladas -- that's all.

I'm really glad I'm not standing behind a 6' table and answering questions about this. Yikes.

Biggest Loser and The Voice are kicking off. Why was I avoiding fall again? This rocks!


Anyway, that's it for events these days. I'm working on a writing project this weekend and dreaming of cool things. That's pretty vague, but I've watched enough TV to know that mysterious is ultra cool.

Want some advice? If you don't mind a few vulgar and offensive lyrics, go buy Lana Del Rey's Ultraviolence. You're welcome.

Cheers! Friday!

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