That's How Life Works: People Change

by - 8:39 PM

People change.

I guess I knew that. I guess everyone knows that. It's one of those things, though, that you know about, but can't know until it happens.

Change is good. It's growth. It's evolution. I bet we never stop changing.

I think there is a specific and inaccurate connotation to the phrase "people change." It suggests that somehow, some people become different in a negative way. The words appear most often in the midst of television break-ups. "You've changed," says one scorned lover to the other. Usually it's sad, like they discovered heroin or lying or something equally and unquestionably addictive and devastating and ruined what was once a perfect relationship. "You're different now" is basically "you used to be good, but now your not."

Sometimes people change and it's not bad. Maybe it's even good. But good or otherwise, the change can be so drastic, it makes a relationship stop making sense.

I think that I'm the one who has changed.The relationship in question used to make sense, but I'm different now and we don't have the things in common that we used to. We don't make sense.

I'm not sure when I changed, perhaps it was a slow process, but undoubtedly I am not the same. And that has caused consequential differences. The other person, well, that person must notice the change because that person doesn't respond to me the same. That person says things that never used to be said. I notice new cracks in our stories and now it bothers me in a way that wouldn't have bothered me before. We don't make sense.

It's strange how that can happen. Somewhere along the way, we hit a fork in the road and I guess, without telling each other, we chose different directions and I didn't realize it until we were too separated to communicate. I've become attached to my chosen road, and it's uncomfortable to dabble in the other road, even for a few hours. Vehemently, I don't like that road. Maybe, just as vehemently, you don't like my road either.

People grow apart. Roads move forward in completely opposing directions. I am quite certain that as my road continues, so will yours, and they will never quite rejoin each other.

But that's okay, because change is good, and I will always wish you well.

From afar.

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