by - 2:17 PM

I sometimes wonder, if you would ask a number of successful couples what makes their love last, how many different answers would you get?

F. Scott Gerald suggested, "there are all kinds of love in this world, but never the same love twice."

Lucille Ball, unsurprisingly, thought that "love is being stupid together.

I don't know what makes love work for everyone, but I know that for me, for Ryan and I, it's something along the lines of (in the words of Drew Barrymore) letting our "freak flag fly."

Being ourselves works for us.

It's a little of this, a lot of that, but mostly, it's us just being in love.
It's when we both know, I'm going to take this picture and neither of us is going to look normal.
It's when we watch Jeopardy together.
It's when he's quiet while I'm reading and I'm quiet while he's Craigslisting.
It's when he still listens to me talk, after an hour of chatter.

It's when he holds my hand when we walk, because he knows I like that.
It's when he hugs me tight when he comes home, even though he saw me that morning, and every day before since 2008.

It's when he says "I'm sorry."
It's when I say "I'm sorry."

It's all the things that are formulaic and make a solid relationship: respect, trust, ridiculous love.
It's all the other stuff too: us us us.

I've heard that love is hard work. That's a lie. This love has required nothing of me except to love a man who loves me back. And that's easy-peasy.

So what makes a relationship successful? I don't know, but I do know when I wake up in the middle of the night and turn over in my sleep and he unconciously swings his arm around my body and pulls me close, love is real, it's not hard work, and it's damn magical.

Happy Valentine's Day

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